One year blogging anniversary!

It's hard to believe that it has been a year since I stopped lurking and started my own blog.  What started out as self-discovery and taboo desires have turned into much more then I ever imagined!  The communication that Leo and I have with each other now is so  much more effective and meaningful.  We have gained tools to help move us forward when we are stuck, arguing, emotional, or just need to get over something and move on.  Our roles have become more defined and we are very happy and comfortable in the roles we have.  Before dd, it was hard to move past certain arguments, because at times we cared more about who was right then what was right for our marriage.  We have been able to focus on the big picture and not sweat the small stuff.  Not to mention our sex-life has only gotten hotter from our new defined roles!

Leo has been a trooper from the beginning.  When I first started researching and reading other people's blogs, I had ideas of how I wanted things to be like.  I showed him countless articles and posts and talked, talked talked about what I wanted.  The novelty has worn off, and in it's place I have gained a sense of security and fulfilment in how we have defined and incorporated dd in our own marriage.  It has become so much more exciting and fulfilling to be accepting and happy with exactly how things are going.  I have realized that fantasy and reality are two separate entities, and I don't want fantasy because reality has been so much more fulfilling.
I have had the chance to make new friends and share my experiences with others as well as listen to other women's experiences.  This has been priceless because outside of this community I could never imagine sharing such intimacy with the friends I have in my life.  I have gained confidence and validation along with hopefully passing on validation to others as well.  I feel more secure and accepting of our lifestyle and no longer feel the need to constantly pick it apart or try to shove it into our marriage the way I see fit.  I guess I have become more submissive!  (I bet Leo would argue that somewhat :-)
I have learned to go with the flow more and I absolutely love how our marriage works!
I love and respect my husband with all my heart and I am so grateful that I let my walls down and gave myself to him on every level.

I may not post as often as I would like, and I have struggled with that.  I have come to the realization that I need to take the pressure off of myself and write when I can. I am really going to try to become more active in blog land, but sometimes the reality of a teaching job, my family and every other commitment that I have take over.  I think I am okay with letting myself off the hook and not feeling guilty.  I think my writer's block came from the fact that I felt so guilty that I have been reaping the benefits of such a wonderful new way of life and not being able to share it the way I wanted to.  I am going to try to let go of that and see if that will take the pressure of blogging.
I am very grateful that I have taken chances and that my husband has been on board with me every step of the way.  I know that through the ups and downs we will be able to get through anything!